It’s another friday night and by now most people have finished pregaming and are getting ready to head out to wherever it is they will pass out in a few hours only to wake up at seven am still a little bit drunk. There are a couple of drinks that will be readily available at every pregame, no matter who you doing it with.
This will never be good vodka. This will always be the cheapest, most gut burning acid that could be found at the gas station around the corner. It’s the kind of vodka you could taste through a milkshake. It almost always is the reason someone has punched a whole in the wall.
Pro-tip: don’t trust this shit. It will have a fun color and will taste sweet but chances are it is 50% Everclear. This is a lie told to you by some jackass who will post the hundred or so pictures of you passed out under the bed and hugging a bunny on facebook, then tag you and your grandma
Most of the things that are true for vodka are true for tequila. It’s cheap, it tastes like broken dreams and goes down like shards of glass. Unlike the vodka no one will call you a bitch for not drinking it. They will call you a prude who doesn’t know how to have fun, but at least your not a bitch.
A favorite amongst the young and inexperienced. And the older and too experienced. Really everybody like jello shots. It’s almost as fun as soaking gummi bears in cheap vodka because it combines the fun of drinking with the memory of a solid elementary school lunch time trade.
It’s an all around kind of drink: get dumped (drink beer), get a job (drink beer), dead father (drink beer), a light buzz before getting so wasted you forget how shoes work (drink some damn beer). There is a reason that it shows up in every movie and tv show ever.
So don’t worry, person soon to be arrested for indecent exposure. As long as you learn to drink one of these things without puking or flinching, you will be able to handle any pregame.
Image source: Google images